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Saturday, May 9, 2015

Mother's Day without my Mom


Celebrating Mother’s day for the first time without your mother is hard. I remember as a young girl saving up my money and riding my bike down to the old M and R Drug store to pick mom out a gift for her birthday and mother’s day, which are just days apart. I often bought her a little figurine, wanting to buy her something beautiful, on my limited budget and not knowing what else to get her. She kept those little trinkets that I bought her, for all these years. She kept everything like that, because  it had value to her. A couple of months before she died, she asked if I wanted something that my son Chris had made for her. It was some kind of paper helmet that he had made 10+ years before. She couldn’t bring herself to throw it out because he had made it with love for her. Of course I didn’t want it. If its not useful, throw it out is my mantra. But, I greatly appreciated her sense of value in the little things. I can’t count the times I called her because I needed information; a phone number or address that I hadn’t kept.  But, she had it and knew right where it was. She always shared it graciously, never chastising me for not keeping track of the information I sought.

Though Dad did the cooking, Mom made this waffle for Annie.
Doing moms hair, our weekly routine













Mother’s simplicity kept me grounded through the years. When I wasn't going to finish college, she called and made an appointment for me to sign up for beauty school.  I fought her at first, but finally relented and went on to complete the program. I am still licensed and though not working, doing my husband’s and 8 kids hair for all these years, has saved us a bundle. Plus, doing mom’s hair every week, gave me an opportunity to make great memories with her.Many of the most important decisions of my life, I made with her guidance.

It was my mom who gave me the good counsel to stay with my husband, when I thought of leaving him in the early years of our marriage.  She offered to babysit while we got the help that we needed. Around the same time, I almost left my Catholic Faith, she steered me back on track.

Mike and I stayed in town after we got married to be close to family. Family parties were commonplace. I always looked forward to celebrating the mother’s day / birthday combo with mom. It was a yearly event to have her and dad over for dinner on the eve of Mother’s Day after Saturday night Mass.  These last couple of years, when getting out was hard for her, we moved to delivering the party, often along with rhubarb crisp, one of her favorites.
I planted flowers in her window box this week, which had become part of my traditional gift for her. This time it was a gift to myself, in her memory. It was hard to look at the empty window box when I visited, knowing how much she loved getting her flowers every year.

 I love my Mom, and I cherish her memory.  My life will never be the same without her, but, I am so thankful for all of the time that I had with her. I know that none of us are meant to live here forever; my grief is a great reminder of that. If we lived everyday with our navigation set for heaven, the world would be a better place for everyone.



Happy Mother’s Day Mom! I will love you and miss you forever! I’m sure the flowers you are seeing are prettier anyway.