Remembering you

I'll remember you always! 

I remember working in the pro-life booth at the fair, along with my husband, on one beautiful summer evening in the mid 1990's. It was our annual date night, out at the fair and we always spent it in this booth. Grandma was watching the kids and we were enjoying our time out together. It was usually without incident, but on this night, an angry man approached the counter. "What have you ever done for a child that needed help", he barked at us. "Well, we have been open to life and cared for all of the children that God has sent us”, we quickly replied. He argued with us for awhile, as he was clearly on the other side of the issue, until we peacefully agreed to disagree. But, I left there that night questioning myself; "would I, could I, take in a child that wasn't mine and love them as if they were"? I had never thought about it before. 

Years passed and friends of ours, with three children of their own, were fostering to adopt. I chided with my friend, letting him know that while adoption was great for them, I had 6 kids at home and wouldn't be adopting anytime soon. I was joking around, so his solemn reply was startling. He said in a somber and serious tone, "but they need solid families, like yours, to take these kids in”.

I remembered the man from years before and the questions that surfaced that night, were spinning in my head again. I prayed about it, for the very first time and talked to my husband. We decided to proceed cautiously. We asked God to block our path if we should not be walking this way. There were obstacles, but, nothing we could not step around or over. Through this experience, God gave us a son, whom we love dearly, and every bit as much, as our other 4 sons. It was worth every struggle to have him in our family. We "took him and ran", as I like to say. After his adoption, we stopped doing foster care. We had another little girl in the middle of it all, and so our total was now 8.

 Our kids grew up and soon we had half of our kids out of the house and grandchildren soon came. After many years of seeing our grand babies several times a week, and spending lots of special time with them, we were brokenhearted to learn that they were moving to Texas, for a job. They were hoping to come back this way, but it would be several years. After a year had passed, we prayerfully decided to do short term foster care, until our grand-kids moved back home.

I took on the nickname "Momma-Terri" to the 8 kids that we have had in our care over the last 2 years. We had one little girl for only 1 day and several children for 6 months. Some were here for 2 or 3 months. We had two little twins (that just left us), for a little more than a year. All of them, have left their mark on our hearts. We will always remember them, care about them and hold them up in prayer. It is a difficult thing being "Momma" to little children, and then have to say goodbye to them, especially after a year... A YEAR! That is a long time to take care of a child, like they are your own and then say goodbye, knowing full well, that you probably will never see them again! This isn't like babysitting. They don't go home for nights and holidays. We had these little twins for more than 1/3 of their lives (not so much of an impressive fraction in mine.) We have celebrated 2 Easters with them, Christmas, their birthdays and every other holiday of the year.  I couldn't post their pictures on facebook or instagram or tell about all of the cute things they have done or said, because of privacy issues. But, I often had wished that I could.

It is hard to imagine the heartbreak that foster children endure. To be ripped from your home, no matter how broken, and put with strangers, would be a scary thing for anyone. They got their family back when they moved home, but they lost one in us, too. They left behind foster parents, siblings, extended foster family and friends. We sent their clothes, toys and bikes, but, they left behind the dog that they cherished, the cat, rabbit, hamster, chickens and duck that they loved. They will have a hard time readjusting and will miss us, as we will miss them! 

Despite all of the heartache and struggle, given the same circumstances, I would do it all over again. We saw them blossom and grow with affirmation and boundaries. They learned to be compassionate with love and compassion shown to them. We saw them learn to trust with time and consistency. And, we also learned from them. We learned to be thankful for all that we have and for our family.

Our kids and grandkids have moved back to town so we won’t be taking any more children in. It is the end of an era for us, but we will always remember them, with love.